Karaoke: Varia Style
by PT-chan ssu
Summary: Title says it all. A Karaoke Machine was in the living room of Varia's Castle. They decided to have a sing along.  Slight XS and BF is you squint.


**Yokay. A NEW Crack Fic from me. XD**

**This is the first fic I made for KHR in a while isnt it?**

**Anyway, the idea was given to me by my friend. I just made him listen to Fran's character song and all, (BECAUSE I LOVE FRAN AND HIS VOICE IS AWESOME!) and suddenly he said... "I wonder what the Varia's reaction will be when he sings in front of them" And KABOOM! Plot Bunny**

**And Yes, all of them gets to sing XD**

**Squalo's the only one who uses his first Character song because it fits it better. XD I really like his new character song too. AND BEL'S OLD ONE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITES! but the new one fit better here too.**

**Song Titles at the end.**

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**Karaoke: Varia Style**

"What… the hell is THIS?" asked Squalo as he pointed to the abomination. All the Varia members, except for the boss, were lounging around in the living room of the Varia Castle. It was their day off, apparently.

"It looks like a Karaoke machine" said Fran, standing beside Squalo.

"I KNOW that, I'm asking why it's HERE!" Squalo exclaimed.

"I brought it here because I thought Xanxus-sama might like it" Levi spoke up from behind the karaoke machine.

"Boss likes Karaoke?" Fran asked Squalo.

"How should I know?" Squalo replied

"Oy, Trash, what is that?" Xanxus suddenly made an entrance.

"Shishishi~ it's what peasants use when they feel like singing in their free time called the Karaoke Machine" explained Bel suddenly popping out from behind Fran.

"Hey, Fake Prince-sempai, your invading my personal space you know" said guy complained.

"Ahh, itai. Bel-sempai, could you please not throw your weird looking knives at me?"

"Shishishi~"

"Vooi, what should we do with this thing?" Squalo asked, referring to the Karaoke Machine.

Xanxus stared at it for a little while before grabbing the mike and looking through the song book.

The rest of the Varia stared…

"I'll go make some snacks then, be back in a jiffy" Lussuria headed for the kitchen.

"Shishishi~ looks like boss is gonna sing" Bel grinned, taking a seat and dragging Fran with him.

"Bel-sempai, that hurts you know" Fran complained in a completely monotone voice.

"Urusai , baka kaeru" Bel said.

"YAY! BOSS!" Levi cheered.

"This is going to be the first time we'll ever hear Boss sing right?" said Fran from his perch next to Bel, who happens to have a knife pushed up against his throat. "Sempai, could you please remove the knife from my throat? It's getting really uncomfortable" Fran stated, completely still because of the close proximity of said weapon.

"Shishishi~" that meant no.

"Sigh"

"I'm back with the snacks!" Lussuria announced as he layed down a bowl of chips and a plate of cookies on the table.

Then, a song started playing on the Karaoke machine, and the room grew quiet, Squalo, Levi and Lussuria all took their seats, wanting to listen to their boss sing for the first time in a while… if at all.

_shakunetsu no sekai wo furuwase hametsu no sakebi ga hibiku  
__sonzai suru arayuru mono wo kuppuku saseru kono chikara _

_ukabiagaru ikari no moyou ga shoumei suru hokori takaki chi no tsuyosa wo _

_moesakaru ikari de subete wo shihai suru  
__kono te ni yadoru honoo arekurui uzumaku gouka _

_ashimoto ni sae oyobanai kasu tomo wa damatte shitagae  
__jyama suru nara koko de kiero urusee tooboe wa kikiakita _

_moyashi tsukusu katachi mo todomenu hodo obieru koe hai ni natte iku keshiki _

_doumou na honoo ga fundo no sakebi wo ageru  
__ikari ni moeru kobushi sekai wa yugande iku _

_moesakaru ikari de subete wo shihai suru  
__kono te ni yadoru honoo arekurui uzumaku gouka _

"Xanxus-sama" Levi was all teary eyed. "You really are a great singer"

"Ara, that was a great song boss" Lussuria exclaimed.

"Shishishi~ That was great boss, I didn't know you were a singer" commented Bel.

Fran was about to say something sarcastic (about Bel) but was unable to as Bel pushed the knife closer to his throat. "Gokuri"

"Not Bad" said Squalo, as he grabbed the discarded mike. "I GO NEXT"

He then selected a song, and the music started almost immediately.

…

"_VOOOOOOOOOI!"_ Squalo screamed into the mike, amplifying his already loud voice, thus shaking the entire castle and all the inhabitants. Good thing the other members managed to block their ears. Except for one.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TRASH" Xanxus said as he threw his wine glass at Squalo's silver Hair.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Squalo cried out. Xanxus stayed impassive.

Squalo quickly caught his cue.

_Yami kirisaku shougeki no kiba __  
Kage matoishi senketsu no BEERU _

_Tatakai ni yudaneshi sadame __  
Mou daremo tomerare wa shinai _

_Kaze sakamaki zetsubou wo yobu __  
Sora koboreshi itsuwari no ame yo _

_Tatakai wa chi shio ni mamire __  
Ore no se ni shikabane ga tsuzuku _

_Tooi ashita no kioku sono ikari hokori no kotoku  
Tooi kinou no chikai omae ni tsuiteikuto kimeta _

_Voooi, jamasuru kasu wo tatakiru  
Sono mama kisama oroshitearuze  
Ugokidashitara tomarane  
Shinzo wo kirekizandearu  
Ore wa SUKUAARO, SUPERUBII SUKUAARO da! _

_Yoru ugomeku nikushimi no kai  
Koe sasayaku kanashimi no uta wo _

_Tatakai ni owari wa konai __  
Tomattara ore wa ikirarenu _

_Tooi ashita no kioku senjou ni nagareta inochi  
Tooi kinou no chikai arai nagasu REKUIEMU no ame _

_Tooi ashita no kioku sono ikari hokori no kotoku  
Tooi kinou no chikai omae ni tsuiteikuto kimeta _

"Squ-chans good too" Lussuria said

"Not bad Squalo Sakusen Taichou. Shishishi~" Bel commented.

Xanxus just grunted. "At least you didn't make anyone deaf"

"ALRIGHT! WHO'S NEXT?" Asked Squalo, holding the mike out.

"I am" Fran said, raising his right hand, carefully to make sure he doesn't lose his head.

"Fran-chan's going to sing!" Lussuria squeeled "I bet your voice is as cute as you are"

"The Frog knows how to sing?" Bel faked a gasp, with hand gesture and all.

"Yes I do Bel-sempai, unlike some other crazy fake prince-sempai"

"What was that Froggy? I didn't hear you" Glistening knives were out and the one on Fran's throat was getting dangerously close.

"Gulp"

Bel thought for a moment, before he removed the knife from Fran's throat. "Shishi~ Alright Froggy, lets hear you croak"

Fran got up immediately and took the mike from Squalo's outstretched hand. He selected a song, gave a large inhale, and then an exhale.

_REAL? gensou? azamuku kaikan  
__kuse ni naru chikara tsukatte _

_I'M A TOP MAGICIAN _

_jizai ni gushagusha desu yo _

_massugu nanka jya byousatsu desu _

_netsu wo samashite abaremashou _

_shinku no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND _

_nee acchi ni mo kocchi ni mo iru yo _

_ME darake _

_asobi ni oide yo ME no WONDERLAND _

_honmono wa dore da? inochi ga ke de mitsukete _

_SEVERE? rifujin? kageki na kanjyou _

_tanjyun na senpai aotte _

_I'M A TOP MAGICIAN. _

_jizai ni dorodoro desu yo _

_bonyari shite tara owarimasu yo _

_hotto shinai de midaremashou _

_chinori no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND _

_nee oitsuite senaka ni gin no KNIFE wo _

_asonde ageru yo ME no WONDERLAND _

_honmono no REAL? inochi ga ke de mitsukete _

_shinku no mori wa ME no WONDERLAND _

_nee acchi ni mo kocchi ni mo iru yo _

_me darake _

_asobi ni oide yo Me no WONDERLAND _

_honmono wa dore da? inochi ga ke de mitsukete _

_saa ikinokoreru no wa docchi deshou? _

It was sang in a completely monotone voice with a completely emotionless face and yet...

a large squeel was heard.

"KYAAA! FRAN-CHAN IS SO ADORABLE WHILE SINGING!" Fran was suddenly glomped by Lussuria from behind.

"The kid can sing" Squalo said. Xanxus grunted.

"Can you please let go" Fran said in monotone. Lussuria did so.

Bel was pretty irked.

"Not bad Frog. But the prince is still better" Bel grabbed the mike from Fran's grasp.

"Hey"

"But, there is no one better than me, after all, I am a prince" he flicked his wrist and a tune started playing from the karaoke.

_BLOODY BEL ore wa saikou  
kiri aji mo zekkou chou kiri saite yukou  
BLOODY BEL ouji no ashi oto  
kikoe__te kuru darou nige ba wa naize _

_shinku ni somaru odori ko wo LIGHT UP __  
kurutta shi e no MELODY  
himei nantemon wa saikou no BGM  
Help me Help me Help me  
Bloody hell Bloody Heaven BLOODY BEL _

_BLOODY BEL inochi goi nara  
suki na dake sakeba ii dare mo konai sa  
BLOODY BEL ouji no karei na  
NAIFU to W__AIYAA sabaki de himei wo agero _

_abare tsuzukeru e mono wo LIGHT UP  
kurutta shi e no MELODY  
tasukete nante saikou no BGM  
Help me Help me Help me  
Bloody__ hell Bloody heaven BLOODY BEL "_Shishishishishi~"

_BLOODY BEL makka na butai ni __  
owaranai ANKOORU hibiki tsuzukeru  
BLOODY BEL ouji no RISAITARU  
tomaranai dan matsuma kanade tsuzuke you _

_odori madou e mono wo LIGHT UP __  
kurutta shi e no MELODY  
kirisaki ouji no saikou no BGM  
Help me Help me Help me  
Bloody prince Bloody prince BLOODY BEL  
Help me Help me Help me  
Bloody hell Bloody heaven BLOODY BEL _

"Pretty good Belphegor" Squalo commented.

"KYAA! BEL-CHAN IS SO COOL!" Lussuria praised.

"That's because I'm a Prince Shishishi~" Bel set the mike down and returned to his seat.

"Ok, Creepy song plus Creepy Fake Prince-sempai equals I am totally creeped out" Fran said with a straight face.

"Say again little Frog?" Bel raised his knives.

"I said that creepy song plus creepy deranged fake prince-sempai equals total creepyness" Fran said.

Bel felt a vain pop. "You are so getting it frog" Bel then lunged at Fran knife ready to reap.

"Ahhh. I'm being attacked by a psychopath, Help!" Fran screamed in a perfectly monotone voice with an emotionless face as he ran around the living room with an angry Bel close behind.

"Shut up Frog" Bel threw more and more knives at Fran which the latter never really even tries to avoid.

"Oww"

"Alright, I'll sing next" Lussuria announced as he picked up the discarded mike, perfectly ignoring the youngest of the Varia.

_Oozora ga kuzure ochita toshitemo __  
Sekai ga yami ni tsutsumareta toshitemo  
Sonna koto wa dou demo ii wa  
Watashi ga anata wo mamotte ageru watashi IL SOLE _

_Koori tsuita kokoro no kizu tokashiteageru __  
Towa no ai de watashi anata dakishimete ageru  
Ai afureru asa wo umu wa anata no tame ni  
Akaruku tsuyoku terashiteageru  
Atsui hikari anata wo tsutsumi komu _

_Gyakkyou wo hane kaeso utoshitemo __  
Akiramezu nando tachiagattekitemo  
Sonna koto wa dou demo ii wa  
Watashi ga anata ni zetsubou ageru watashi IL SOLE _

_Kuchihateta tsumetakute ugokanai karada __  
Kyuukyoku no nikutaibi  
Watashi no risou  
Onarinasai ima suguni watashi no KOREKUSHON  
Teikou wa muda anata mijime ni  
Sou hirefusu hirefusu hirefusu no _

_Koori tsuita kokoro no kizu tokashiteageru __  
Towa no ai de watashi anata dakishimete ageru _

_Ai afureru asa wo umu wa anata no tame ni __  
Anata no tame ni _

_Akaruku tsuyoku terashiteageru __  
Atsui hikari anata wo tsutsumi komu _

"Wow, Luss-nee-san can sing" Fran commented, clapping his hands.

"ARIGATOU FRAN-CHAN!"

Everyone else stared...

"Saa~ Who's next?" Luss asked

"I GO" Levi stood up and took the mike.

"This one is for Boss" He said.

A tune started playing.

_Dengeki de teki wo senmetsu_  
_Sou da ORE ga REVI A TAN da_  
_BOSU kara no shinrai dake wa_  
_Mamori tousu sore ga subete da_

_ORE no senaka no yattsu no PARABORA wa doko ni nigetemonogashi wa shinai_  
_Raimei todoroku sono isshun de ichigeki hissatsu no REVI BORUTA_

"Nee, I'm hungry" said Fran

"Shishishi~ Ne, Luss, can we eat now?"

"Ara, ok, Bel-chan, I'll fix something up"

"Shishishi~ Come on Froggy" Bel said dragging Fran along with him.

"Kero"

"VOOI! I'M COMING TOO" And with that, the Varia members left for the dining room

Levi who was singing his life away, didn't notice.

_BOSU no bujoku wa ORE ga yurusan nakama dearouto haijo suru  
__Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi  
__Sou, yorokobi  
__Raigekitai hikiite tsubusu  
__Sore ga donna aite darouto  
__Hyouteki wa jakusha deattemo  
__Yousha shinai reitetsu no ishi  
__Senjin kitte shougai gekiha da shinshutsukibotsu de teki wa azamuku  
__Dare ni mo jama wa sase wa shinaisa denkousekka de ninmu suikou  
__Zettai fukujuu kataude toshite BOSU no kitai wa uragiranai  
__Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi  
__ORE no chii wo obiya kasu yatsu wa dare dearouto kechira shiteyaru  
__Mou ichido ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi  
__Sou, yorokobi  
__ORE no senaka no yattsu no PARABORA wa doko ni nigetemonogashi wa shinai  
__Raimei todoroku sono isshun de ichigeki hissatsu no REVI BORUTA  
__Zettai fukujuu kataude toshite BOSU no kitai wa uragiranai  
__Saa kono ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi  
__ORE no chii wo obiya kasu yatsu wa dare dearouto kechira shiteyaru  
__Mou ichido ORE wo hometekure BOSU chuugi koso shijou no yorokobi  
__Sou, yorokobi  
__Sou, yorokobi _

After the song ended, Levi finally noticed.

"HEY! WHERE IS EVERYONE?" he looked around but no one was there...

Except for one person.

"Bossu~" Levi teared up, seeing the mang slouched on his seat.

"You listened" *sniff* TT~TT

"Arigatou Boss" *sniff*

Suddenly, a gun was pointed at his head.

"How dare you..."

"Boss?"

"RUIN MY SLEEP!"

_**In the Dining Room**_

"Did any of you hear anything?" asked Fran.

"Shishishi~ What do you mean Froggy?"

"I thought I heard an explosion. Like KABOOM or something" Fran explained, straight faced.

"Probably your imagination Shishishi~"

"VOOI! IS DINNER READY YET?" Squalo asked

"Just be patient Squ-chan, its almost done" Lussuria relpied.

"Shishishi"

_**In The Living Room**_

The whole room was full of smoke and debris everywhere and there was a certain mustache man lying face down on the ground a few meters away from where he was before, mumbling "Boss—"

"Hn" was heard from Xanxus as he headed towards the dining room, following the scent of Meat.

"Meat"

And no one ever saw the Karaoke Machine again.

* * *

**Xanxus - FLAMING RAGE  
Squalo - Chinkonka no Ame  
Fran - Special Illusion  
Bel - Bloody Prince  
Lussuria - Il SOLE (Watshi ha Taiyou)  
Levi - Raigeki no Levi**

**Sigh, poor Levi. Apparenlt though, that is cannon. Sorry Levi A Than.**

**ANYWAYS**

**I HOPE YOU LEAVE A NICE REVIEW  
XD**


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